nerd’s eye view

I said, “It’s over.” That means it’s OVER. Get it?

September 21, 2005 – 4:22 pm | by nerd's eye view

First, this vignette from our house:

Me: Oh NO!
Euro-husband: What’s wrong?
Me: Blogger is down!
EH: Too many opinions.

–
John Kerry is stalking me. I mean it; the guy will not leave me alone. I’m thinking about taking out a restraining order.

Okay, I have to admit that this is partly my fault. See, early in the black days referred to as the 2004 electoral campaign, I started to write to John Kerry. I had a lot of questions about, well, all kinds of stuff. After all, I have questions, right?

I wrote to John Kerry once, maybe twice a week for about two months. Sometimes I’d just tell him about my day. Sometimes I’d ask him about a specific political issue. Sometimes I’d just say that I’d seen him on the debate and could he maybe answer the fucking question because after all, he was my damn candidate and maybe I’d like to know what he really thought.

He never wrote back to me. I never got more than an auto-reply. It bummed me out. See, I write to my legislators all the time and I think they should take a minute or two, every now and then to write back. I get that it’s just some staffer issuing a homogenized statement. I get that in the middle of a campaign, John Kerry might not have time to send me a get well card because I’m down with the flu. But I was kind of hoping that designated reader of John Kerry’s mail would clue in at some point and say, “Hey, John, check it out. This woman in Seattle writes to you, like, twice a week.” And then John Kerry would be all, “Dude, is she stalking me?” And the staffer, who would be very smart would say, “Mr. Kerry, please don’t ever say “Dude.” It doesn’t suit you. Plus, no, she doesn’t appear to be stalking you, she just has questions. They’re pretty good ones, too. Check it out.”

I’m thinking that every time I wrote to John Kerry, my email address got entered in to some database somewhere. Now, John Kerry writes to me once, maybe twice a week. He doesn’t say anything all that interesting. Come on, like I don’t know how he’s going to vote on John Roberts. Or how he thinks the commission to investigate what went wrong with Katrina should be independent. Or, heaven help me, how he feels about Iraq, like everyone in the whole damn world doesn’t already know.

He never read my mail during the campaign, and dammit, he should have because I gave him a lot of my time unpaid, plus, I was unemployed at the time and had no prospective opportunities so what else was I supposed to do? I could totally have helped him out if he’d just made contact. “Answer the question, dude!” I could have said to him. But no, he ignored me and now, after it’s all over, he’s around courting my inbox and trying to make nice. John Kerry, I am so over you. I cried, oh how I cried, but I am over you. I might be over the whole Democratic party, that’s how over you I am.

In the meantime, “unsubscribe” seems to do very little good. Repeatedly I unsubscribe, but he keeps coming around, asking me to support this cause and read this diatribe. “Dude,” I say. “Get a blog and leave me alone.” If you want to broadcast your opinions to the apathetic masses, what better way?” But no, he just keeps emailing me and emailing me.

After about two months of writing to John Kerry and getting no answer, I gave up. John Kerry is feeling no such need for restraint. Things have come to a very strange pass when you have to add the former candidate for President of the United States to your blocked senders list.