Burning Down the House
October 28, 2005 – 2:48 pm | by nerd's eye viewI don’t totally get the Plame affair. Not totally. I’m reading, though, don’t worry, I’ll catch up. Thing is, what I really want is the movie. I think this has all the makings of a Pelican Brief style blockbuster. Spying and (married) romance and foreign nations and corrupt officials and tough as nails reporters and Dragnet style policing. I’m in to it. I’m seeing a Harrison Ford/Denzel Washington kind of thing, maybe Lili Taylor as Judith Miller and Sharon Stone as Valerie Plame? George Clooney, who’s cemented his place in my affections with Good Night and Good Luck (like any further cementing was needed!) can be Fitz.
I want Fitz for Supreme Court. Do I know what I’m talking about? Of course not! However, I was blown away this morning by his insistence on stating, repeatedly, that Scooter was innocent until proven guilty, pal, so adhere to the law and the rights of the citizens, wouldja? That’s the kind of jurisprudence I’d like to see more of. Fitz could push down Harriet Miers and steal her intellectual lunch money just by walking in to a room.
Speaking of Harriet, while I’m working out the casting for my Plame movie (Is this yearning an eternal Plaaaaame!) don’t think I’ve forgotten that an evil nominee awaits in the wings. Get ready to take it on the chin, people. “You wanted a woman, we gave you a woman. Now you’ll take what we offer and you’ll like it!” If Karl Rove escapes indictment free, who knows what he’ll be up for next? Remember, experience is not required! It’s all about the fealty. Plus, those robes totally hide the cloven hooves and tail. Yeesh. I gotta go wash my mouth out.
Frankly, I was a little insulted by Harriet. More than a little. You can’t convince me that she was the “best candidate for the job” that also happened to be a woman, especially since she didn’t have judicial credentials. I don’t have judicial credentials either. I could have turned in a questionnaire to the committee that had the necessary dates filled in. I could have hired an editor to fix my run-on sentences. Whew, that was some bad grammar. Plus, those answers! Where did they come from? ConstitutionalCollegeEssays.com? I have a 14 year old friend who’d have done a better job than Harriet.
Poor Harriet. Harriet, in a minor subplot, will be played by Betty White, I think, because she has the way of talking that makes her sound childish and none too bright. “Oh George! You ARE the best!” This is not to disparage Betty White, who played a rather bitchy mom on That 70s Show. I’m just saying she has the range. Anyhoo, it will all be part of the setting up the story. A beleaguered White House is beset by misadventure after misadventure. “Look over here! Shiny nominee!” Meanwhile, New Orleans I mean Texas I mean Florida is destroyed and the government unravels in a sea of exposed lies.
My only real feedback about all the reporting I’m seeing lately is that no one has seen fit to use that classic Talking Heads song, Burning Down the House in the lead-ins and outs. All those stories about the embattled White House and what George will do to save his sinking ratings are missing the opportunity to add a cool retro soundtrack. Toss in a little World Party, too. Ship of Fools is dying for a little air play and it’s not a bad song.
Okay, all this dates me, but American Idiot is way too obvious. I’m staying the course on this one. Cue it!
No visible means of support
And you have not seen nuthin yet
Everything’s stuck together
I don’t know what you expect
Staring at the TV set
Fight fire with fire…
Whoa. Maybe David Byrne could be Joseph Wilson.
