Something Blue
June 4, 2006 – 12:48 pm | by nerd's eye view
Confession: I find wedding parties oddly depressing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m genuinely delighted for the happy couple, but I almost always go home feeling slightly blue. I admitted this to a friend and to my surprise and relief, she said that she sometimes feels the same way. “It’s all that conformity,” was her assessment. When I talked to Euro-husband about this, he said, “I don’t think you really wanted that kind of wedding. Plus, what we had was special.”
He’s right, of course, We got married at sunset on the beach in Maui. After the very short ceremony, I took my sandals off and stood in the Pacific Ocean. Then we went to dinner.
Maybe I’m just a little hungover.
9 Responses to “Something Blue”
By di on Jun 4, 2006 | Reply
Lol, delicious!
By Renellys on Jun 4, 2006 | Reply
Maybe it’s the thought of spending all that money to throw the type of party that your family/friends expect rather than the type of celebration you’d throw if their weren’t those expectations.
By Marilyn on Jun 4, 2006 | Reply
We still don’t have a marriage license…because I DON’T want a to-do…want it as simple as possible…I’m still trying to convince him MY way is better.
By Neil on Jun 4, 2006 | Reply
I agree with Renellys. Weddings seem to be about everything other than what is should be about — love and marriage. Most weddings are overexpensive parties where the married couple is just overwhelmed the entire time. I think it’s a good sign that you feel a little off after a wedding party. It shows that you’re looking for something MORE.
By Pam on Jun 5, 2006 | Reply
Another friend said that it was the exhibitionist side of weddings that makes her crazy. I am not alone, it appears. I was fearing that it was just sinful envy, plain and simple. No matching salt cellars at my house! Where’s MY monogrammed flatware?!?! Harrumph! But perhaps it’s more that even though I’m (sort of) a grown up, I feel like I’m SUPPOSED to want all the pomp and circumstance.
Who knows.
Two other things that were great about our wedding. Note how both are about cake. I love cake.
1. My Seattle coworkers had arranged for the official who performed the ceremony to show up with a beautiful little white cake decorated with orchids. I had NO idea; it was a total surprise and a perfect one.
2. When we got back from Hawaii, our house was full of friends from the neighborhood who’d come with cake and champagne. It wasn’t a total surprise, I’d talked to my friend K. about it, but it was still perfect to have such a casual gathering at home.
Thanks for understanding. I was feeling really guilty about feeling blue.
By clongstr on Jun 6, 2006 | Reply
Cake by the ocean sounds like a perfect wedding to me.
By ianmack on Mar 5, 2007 | Reply
i agree, one way to look at these types of weddings is depressing. i told myself i wouldn’t want all the cliches are my own. i think karen and i have managed to avoid them: no fancy cake, buddhist abbot, lodge by the sea, 2 day bash, karaoke… even so, i try to think of the event as a way to bring family and friends together, not necessarily a total focus on the “love and relationship” between my future wife.