Aloha Oy: Island Arrival (Nov 4th)

Flying takes it out of me, more than I like to admit. For the past 12 plus hours, I’ve had a doozy of a headache. I’m drinking a lot of water and applying regular doses of ibuprofen and in the middle of the night last night, I tried some sinus meds – that seemed to take the edge off. It’s the dry, recirculated air and the less than comfortable seats.

Our flight was uneventful, which is all I ask from air travel these days. We left on time, had no trouble making our connecting flights, our bags were there as expected, the rental car company did not badger me with “offers” of overpriced gas or stupid unnecessary fees. Our rig these week is a Dodge Caliber, a heavy feeling car with a low ceiling and lousy visibility. Why, here in the islands where environmentalism is so important and gas so expensive, am I not offered the option to rent a hybrid?

All this cranky muttering is a smoke screen for what’s really going on. It’s this: we are comfortably ensconced in Hale New Hebrides 1 at Kona Village Resort.
I am sitting on the deck of a grass shack inspired little building with a 180 degree view of the bay. To my right, a little red cardinal is making quite a racket, to my left on the drive three grouse are rushing back and forth. It’s 25 feet to the water – the surf is hitting the lava floe that created the ground on which this resort was built. The sun is rising behind me  – I can’t see it but the colors are reflected on the fog. It’s gorgeous; this place is the tropical island getaway of my dreams.

Yesterday afternoon I walked along the salt and pepper crescent of beach to say hello to the sea turtles that sun themselves in a funny imitation of guests at the resort. The turtles lie on the sand, slowly opening one eye as I approach, closing it again as I move on. They look too lazy to bother moving. This bay is a ‘turtle cleaning station’ – meaning it’s a place where the turtles regularly come to have their shells and scales sucked clean of algae and other hangers on by lampreys and cleaner fish. I imagine this in two ways. One, as a sort of turtle car wash, the other as a kind of spa. The spa treatments has me putting the lampreys in white lab coats or scrubs.

Last night, we dined surfside with the PR rep for the resort. She took us on a golf cart tour of the whole 82 acre facility and told us a little about the history and nature of the place. There are some cool things happening here. The resort thatches their roofs out of fronds from the palm trees on site. Because this used to be a fishing village, there are remnants of that life here and the ancient fish ponds are being restored. There’s an extensive array of petroglyphs that researchers theorize may be the remains of an navigation school. There’s lots of natural noise here, but hardly any manmade – all the cars are parked outside the main area, there’s no cell service, no phones, no TV, no radio…

Yes, we’re on a comp, yes, our point of view is skewed, and yes, this place is gorgeous. The food is good, the location is amazing, the grounds are clean, the bed is comfortable, there are nice products in the bathroom… it is no trouble for me to go on and on about how lovely it is here. It’s expensive, this is not a budget vacation spot, and everything about this resort conspires to keep you right here, enchanted and coddled. It’s a retreat – a very fine one at that.

A few years back we stayed at Drakesbad Lodge in Lassen National Park. I loved that place, it was a self contained secret getaway that provided everything. It was grittier than this – a backwoods lodge, not a beachfront resort – but the feeling of retreat was the same. Kona Village resort is that kind of place – a destination to itself. You could easily fly in, take a cab from the airport, and do the same in reverse a week later with no regrets. I’m not exactly stressed out right now so I hardly need retreat time, but I do regret that I can’t spend my time here enjoying the retreat mentality.

The short version? Gorgeous. Expensive. Great for honeymooners and those for whom vacation means getting away from it all and having zero logistics. The biggest bother here? Grinding your own beans for coffee. Though if you ask, they’ll give you ground coffee instead.

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