![\"Apollo_11_ticker_tape_parade_1\"](\"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Apollo_11_ticker_tape_parade_1-1024x720.jpg\")
<\/b><\/p>\n<\/b><\/p>\n
Sleeping BH<\/b>: Go to bed. Sleep.
\nAH<\/b>: Locate Harley. If he\u2019s outside, chase him inside. Close all the windows, regardless of temperature because there\u2019s a good chance your sleep will be interrupted if a dog walks by, a package is delivered, a large truck rolls down the street, any number of incidents. If it\u2019s street sweeper night, wake up at about 1am to alarmed barking as the truck goes by. Pet Harley and reassure him until the truck goes back the other direction, then go back to sleep.<\/p>\n
Morning BH<\/b>: Sit as long as you like. Surf the web, make more coffee, dawdle.
\nAH<\/b>: TIME TO GO FOR WALKIES ARE YOU NOT DRESSED YET? Get dressed even though you are far from ready and go for a walk, rain or shine.<\/p>\n
Walkies BH<\/b>: Put on shoes, take a 20 minute or so head clearing stretch through the neighborhood. Maybe chat with a neighbor, but most likely not.
\nAH<\/b>: Once the interpretive dance \u201cOMG ARE WE LEAVING THE HOUSE!\u201d has reached completion, head out the back door and down the alley. Snort and bounce at the places where known dogs exist, engage in full on barking at any unknown dogs encountered by surprise. Smell ALL THE THINGS, every single one, sometimes doubling back for a re-smelling if the human is moving too fast. \u201cWHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR DAMN HURRY I NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT, EXACTLY THIS SMELL IS AND WHEN IT WAS PLACED HERE.\u201d Answer “What kind of dog is that, my, he is so cute, can I pet him?” several times. Complete 20 minute route in 45 minutes or more.<\/p>\n
Getting Anything from the Pantry, BH<\/b>: Open cabinet, retrieve item, close cabinet.
\nAH<\/b>: Open cabinet, retrieve item. Look down at Harley, who knows that the cabinet contains treats. Consider if it\u2019s treat time or not. Put item down, hand treat to Harley. Retrieve item. Look down again to make sure Harley has taken the treat and moved so as to not step on him.<\/p>\n
Leaving the House BH<\/b>: Gather belongings, pick up keys, leave house.
\nAH<\/b>: Locate Harley. If he\u2019s outside, chase him inside. Turn on the radio. Gather belongings. Sit down at kitchen table until Harley settles into his crate. When he\u2019s settled, quietly sneak out the back door without saying goodbye.<\/p>\n
Coming Home, BH<\/b>: Open door, enter house. put down belongings, go about the usual business.
\nAH<\/b>: Make sure there\u2019s nothing in your hands. Unlock door. See hyper-alert Harley at the top of the stairs. Open door. Experience the equivalency of a ticker tape parade, a hero\u2019s welcome, and a personalized Valentine\u2019s Day all rolled into one. As Harley swirls about you in wiggly little circles, bouncing, tail wagging, and making squeaky little happy noises, say, \u201cDude, I was gone for like, 20 minutes, I just went to buy milk. Calm down.\u201d Be not so secretly glad that there\u2019s no way he\u2019s calming down. Forget all the barking, sniffing, under-footing, and everything else until it happens again, probably 20 minutes later. Maybe sooner.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Simple things were simple before I brought Harley the Dog home. Now, they’re a lot more… dramatic. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":11228,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[782],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-harley-the-dog","masonry-post","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-50"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/74"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11227"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11227\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11235,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11227\/revisions\/11235"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11228"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}