Setting:\u00c2\u00a0 Kitchen, in front of the all-in-one coffee machine. It’s like a mechanized barrista without the tattoos.<\/p>\n
Guy in Kitchen 1: So, how’s that coffee machine treating you?
\nMe: I’m flabbergasted by its existence. It’s like some kind of crazy machine from the future.
\nGIK1: (Starts laughing.)\n<\/p>\n
I pick up my coffee mug from the dispenser. The coffee is pale, clearly something is wrong.<\/p>\n
GIK1: That’s not right.
\nMe: It’s a weird dystopian future, not some kind of Valhalla.
\nGIK1: (Walks away, laughing really hard.)
\nMe: (To myself) I wasn’t trying to be funny, I meant it.\n<\/p>\n
Later…<\/p>\n
Me: Hey, how’s it going, Guy in Kitchen 2?
\nGIK2: I’m living the dream! I can’t believe I actually get paid for this stuff!
\nMe: That’s awesome, actually, it means you must really like your work.
\nGIK2: That, or it’s a pathetic commentary on my reality.<\/p>\n
Setting: The cube.<\/p>\n
I lean back in my chair and stare at the ceiling. Hanging from the ceiling above my head, there’s a semitranslucent plastic pig about the size of a loaf of bread. I eyeball it for a while and then decide not to mention it to anyone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Setting:\u00c2\u00a0 Kitchen, in front of the all-in-one coffee machine. It’s like a mechanized barrista without the tattoos. Guy in Kitchen 1: So, how’s that coffee machine treating you? Me: I’m flabbergasted by its existence. It’s like some kind of crazy machine from the future. GIK1: (Starts laughing.) I pick up my coffee mug from the … <\/p>\n