The Euro-husband spoke with Euro-friend of ours a few days ago. They talked, as always, about our bi-national status. Our friend said that while he loves to visit the US and has nothing but the finest feelings for his American friends, he thinks that the American system is cruel and doesn’t understand why anyone would choose to live here when they could live in Europe. I’m paraphrasing. I didn’t talk to him directly, but I think this is the gist of what he said.<\/p>\n
Last night my friend Rick called. We haven’t talked for a long time so we had a lot of catching up to do. We also talked, of course, about what’s up with the bi-national situation at my house. I answered honestly, saying, “It’s complicated.” I also told him how living in Europe has helped me define what it is I love about America. Oh, I can see our flaws; I can see them in a painfully clear way. But I can see the advantages, too.<\/p>\n
This morning I read my friend Mindy’s post about how she’s homesick. She’s an American living in England. I promptly emailed her an Expat Homesick Blues sympathy card. No one knows the EHB like I do. (…Nobody knows but MEEEEE\u2026) One of the highlights of my winter last year was my visit to England. Not because of England, though it was fun to be there. It was because I finally got to hash over the endless mysteries of expatriatism (that may not be a word) with someone who understands.<\/p>\n
It would be easy if I had clear cut feelings about America. If I was a flag waving patriot or an anti-American jingoist, my choices would be obvious. I would dismiss Europeans as momma’s boy pseudo socialists or I would dismiss Americans as empire building imperialists. I would get bogged down in national health care and public transit or free enterprise and spreading democracy. But I can’t think in black and white at all.<\/p>\n
Would you pick national health care if it came with an educational system that locked you in to one career for your whole life? Do you want excellent basic food that’s not over-processed or do you want to live in a mixed ethnic community? Pick one: extensive public transit or a real shot at your own rags to riches story. What’s it going to be?<\/p>\n
I get that these issues are not side by side either or choices. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? You can’t separate at will and get just the bits you want. The things you appreciate are not instantly transferable; you get the whole package or nothing at all. As a person who’s essentially self-employed, you bet I want national health care. I could have that if I moved to Austria. But if I moved to Austria, my business model won’t work. I write in English. It’s a German speaking nation. Plus, contract jobs are the exception there. So how do I choose?<\/p>\n
I’m starting a little pile of things I need to pack for my winter. My passport, a Christmas gift, books… As I’m doing that, I’m also picking through my old ideas about Austria. I try to go with new eyes every time, but habits get established and impressions are hard to break.<\/p>\n
I’m so looking forward to being with the husband again. To seeing my inlaws. To playing in the snow. To the incredible baked goods. But I’m thinking about the things I’ll miss, too — my friends, Thai food, the streets of my neighborhood.<\/p>\n
See? It’s complicated.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The Euro-husband spoke with Euro-friend of ours a few days ago. They talked, as always, about our bi-national status. Our friend said that while he loves to visit the US and has nothing but the finest feelings for his American friends, he thinks that the American system is cruel and doesn’t understand why anyone would … <\/p>\n