{"id":389,"date":"2006-08-10T15:00:36","date_gmt":"2006-08-10T22:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/?p=389"},"modified":"2010-10-12T12:13:50","modified_gmt":"2010-10-12T19:13:50","slug":"aviation-aggravation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/2006\/08\/10\/aviation-aggravation\/","title":{"rendered":"Aviation Aggravation"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/div>\n

It’s no secret that I really hate to fly. For someone who loves to travel so much, this shouldn’t be the case, but there you have it, the Achilles tendon in an otherwise sturdy traveler. This dislike is not based in so much in fear as it is in discomfort. Airplanes are narrow places with ill fitting seats. The other passengers are too close for too long and the food is bad. Plus, I’m mildly claustrophobic and it doesn’t take much to make me seasick. Pathetic, but true.<\/p>\n

When I started to fly, planes were often half full and the flight attendants were, on the whole, a much cheerier lot. Now, even the airport is so crowded it’s near impossible to find a comfortable place to hide out during your stop over, much less a table in the food court where you can wolf down your nitrate and transfat infested overpriced snack.<\/p>\n

In order to deal with my flight anxiety, I’ve developed a sophisticated routine<\/a>. I start out by bombing vitamins in mass doses the week before I fly in order to stave off the dreaded long haul flight induced cold. I pack a lunchbox so I’ll have something to eat in the airport and extra snackage for in the air. And I fill my carry-on with various reassuring items, the most reassuring of which is a dose of prescription sleeping pills. It’s all to get me through the awfulness of airplanes and airports.<\/p>\n

Of course, given today’s<\/span> the TSA news<\/span>, who knows what I’ll get to take with me on my upcoming<\/span> next flight. I’m hoping things have settled by the time I hop on the plane, but as of today (August, 2006), I can’t take the <\/span>camera, the iPod, the beverages, and, according to a bunch of misinformation, much in the way of personal items. I guess that dorky yet effective inflatable neck pillow is out, as is the lunchbox.<\/p>\n

\"\"While absorbing the news of the bust in Britain<\/a>, I have been wondering this: How long will it be until the airlines issue us a paper jumpsuit at the check-in counter? We’ll unload our personal items into a locking crate and we’ll be issued a jumpsuit and a lanyard with an identity pouch on it. Our documents – tickets and passport – will go in the pouch, everything else, including our attire, will go in the crate. We’ll step through the body scanner and when that’s done, we’ll be allowed to board the plane. We’ll all look alike, it will be The Future. What a beautiful world it will be, what a glorious time to be free! The planes will be clean and clear of clutter as everything will be provided by the airlines. Everything. Maybe these provisions will include a chemical cocktail formulated to have us snoozing the exact length of the flight.<\/p>\n

This version of The Future doesn’t make me feel any more secure than our current version of The Present. Plus, I need my stuff when I’m flying. It makes me feel marginally better for the nine hours of 850 dollars worth of misery I’ve purchased. Having my pillow and my blankie and my better living through chemistry binky is what makes flying tolerable for me.<\/p>\n

Terrorists. I hate those guys.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s no secret that I really hate to fly. For someone who loves to travel so much, this shouldn’t be the case, but there you have it, the Achilles tendon in an otherwise sturdy traveler. This dislike is not based in so much in fear as it is in discomfort. Airplanes are narrow places with … <\/p>\n


…read more.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[214],"class_list":["post-389","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-op-ed","tag-fear-of-flying","masonry-post","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-50"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/389","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=389"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/389\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3823,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/389\/revisions\/3823"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=389"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=389"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nerdseyeview.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=389"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}