Osama wasn’t in my backpack full of photography gear in the Dallas-Fort Worth domestic terminal. The TSA agent was unflinchingly polite, but all the same, I was irritated when she pawed through my bag. I’d just arrived from Santiago, Chile. I’d been in the airport for an hour or so, that time spent in customs and immigration, one floor down. Prior to that I’d spent about ten hours in the air.\u00a0 Osama was also not in my water bottle, tossed on to a heap of water bottles at the Newark airport. Nor was he in my pants when I arrived at Sea-Tac for a full body scan. “You need to look straight ahead, Ma’am,” said the huge security guard. “Don’t look at me.” “Why?” I asked. “Straight ahead,” he replied. At that moment, I was hot with anger.<\/p>\n
My past crimes include casual drug use and speeding. I have received parking tickets. I may have helped myself to some office supplies. I am not, nor I have I ever been a terrorist or murderer. I’m a tree hugging liberal who’s against the death penalty. I have never held a gun. Yet, every time I go to the airport, I am treated like a criminal. I have been treated like a criminal since shortly after 9-11. The evidence against me? I hold a plane ticket.<\/p>\n
Along with thousands, maybe millions of people, I watched President Obama’s speech about how Osama bin Laden had been located and killed in a precision strike on his compound in Islamabad, Pakistan. The President was serious and direct and looked, dare I say it, heroic. I noticed the gray around the edges of his hair, his spectacular suit. I heard his statement that “the US is not — has never been — at war with Islam.” But honestly, I absorbed little else of what he said. I was trying to figure out how I felt about this monumental news.<\/p>\n
Before and after the speech, the station I was watching cut back and forth between a video feed at the White House gates. The cameras showed mostly white kids in their early 20s waving flags and cheering, mugging thumbs ups for the camera. They sang patriotic songs and woo-hooed, one guy had his buddy on his shoulders, the guy up top pumped his fists in the air. Sorority girls in shorts beamed, wide faced and blonde, at camera men. These kids were what, ten years old on 9-11? The entire time of their adult lives, air travel has been grounds for suspicion. I did not share their party-like joy.<\/p>\n
I walked away from the television. I sat in the dark and started to cry. I thought of my friends who were in Manhattan on 9-11, of my friend who I visited in New York last year. I was waiting for her at the wrong intersection. When we finally connected, she pointed up the broad avenue. “The towers used to be there. It was easier to find your way then, I’d have just told you to head for the towers.” I thought about what I did on 9-11 — talked on the phone, watched a lot of television, wandered around my house in a bizarre state of disbelief.<\/p>\n
Osama bin Laden’s killing brings justice to the families and friends of the 9-11 victims. To say I’m pleased for them would be wrong, rather, I hope that they feel some kind of satisfaction. My best friend suggested they might feel like those who see war criminals brought to trial and called to account for their actions.\u00a0 I wondered if they might also feel like people that see murderers sentenced for their horrific crimes.<\/p>\n
Immediately following the President’s remarks, the State Department issued a warning to travelers. “Americans abroad” were warned to stay in their hotels and homes, to avoid large gatherings because of fear of reprisals, of anti-American violence in response to Osama bin Laden’s death. The witch is dead, but there is no celebration, instead, we are all still locked in the castle. Flying monkeys are everywhere.<\/p>\n
The facts are a bit hard to pin down. Depending on your source, it appears that around 6000 soldiers have died in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. About 3000 people died on 9-11. Numbers on the other side are harder to find, we don’t know exactly how many people — soldiers and civilians — have died on the enemy side of our wars. We can agree that 9-11 was the start of a series of events that will not end with this one act of justice.<\/p>\n
Osama’s death does not bring back the dead. It does not end Al-Qaeda. It does not stop our fear, the State Department has seen to that. It does not mean I can wrap my arms around my husband the moment before I board the plane. It does not mean we are all exonerated for the crime of holding a plane ticket. It does not return looted objects to the museums of Baghdad. It does not bring our soldiers home to their families. It does not end the “Global War on Terror.” It does not secure our safety. It does not restore our civil rights.<\/p>\n
I felt — I still feel — very, very sad. We have one act of justice, but we have no peace.<\/p>\n