Aloha Oy: Tropical Frustration

Yesterday I sat down and scribbled the most absurd email ever. I had to cancel our reservation for a (free) 3.5 hour back country by 4WD tour of the waterfalls of the Kohala Coast. I felt, as you might imagine, like a complete idiot, even though there’s a perfectly logical reason for the cancellation. It’s this: I don’t have enough time.

I have allowed myself (on the advice of more seasoned writers than I) a little time here and there during our trip to do something I Really Want to Do. It’s convenient that in all cases, the pursuit of, oh let’s use the example of checking out hot guys in grass skirts, fits the agenda for my work. But an event like that – a full luau with food and entertainment – takes up a huge chunk of time that I ought to be using for pacing up and down the resort-centric shopping areas of Kona Village or Lahaina, dammit, while sussing out shopping and restaurants.

I canceled the 4WD tour because as much as I want to go, I have already committed to a half day adventure elsewhere on The Big Island and I need the rest if the time for hauling ass all over the Kohala Coast and maybe trucking it to Waimea on the same damn day. I can’t use it for a leisurely meander through lush tropical valleys. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. Damn.

I also canceled another crazy invitation to go shooting – you know, that thing where they launch a clay pigeon and blammo, you knock it out of the air with a rifle shot. (Yeah, right.) The woman from Lana’i was so nice and I figured, hey, when is anyone ever going to talk me in to firing a rifle? What the hell. But as much as I think that would make a great first person essay (Gun-hating lefty mostly veggie democrat joins NRA in surprise twist. “Dude, guns are FUN!” she says, shocking long term friends and family alike!) I came to my senses.

I have one day on Lana’i only. One. I have to see and capture the sense of the island in one day. So it does not make any sense at all for me to indulge myself in something that I would never consider just because I was invited to do so. Nope. I have work to do. Instead of having some kind of crazy out of body experience, once again, it’s back to hauling ass all over the island and making sure the rental car is returned with enough time for us to make the sunset ferry.

Please suspend disbelief for a few seconds while I mention my extreme frustration at the sheer rushing around-ness of this undertaking. There will be no open water catamaran trip on Kauai. There will be no donkey trekking on Moloka’i. There will be no ukulele song circle on the Big Island. There will be no horseback riding, hiking, four wheeling, dinner cruising, inner tube riding, oh, the list of things that will not take place is really quite remarkable. There will be no hanging with the ukulele teacher’s cousin, no chatting over tea with the Honolulu aunties or with friends of friends in Hilo, no shave ice with the imaginary blog pal on Maui. Instead, there will be a lot of dropping in, saying, “Thanks kindly but there’s no time can I take your press kit we have half an hour thank so much okay bye we’re gonna run in and shoot some pics don’t mind us no really okay bye!”

I imagine an early breakfast, a late lunch, and a snack in the hotel at bedtime while charging batteries, emptying flash cards, checking the calendar, and making notes. I imagine a blurry sort of green with the background noise of surf and very tired feet. I imagine being too stimulated to sleep.

People keep saying this to me when I describe my aggravation. “Yeah, but you’ll be in Hawaii!” They are completely correct, of course. That is more than a little consolation. But it also feeds my frustration. There is so much to do, so much to explore, so much that I would do given limitless time and money, and the fact that I am presented with the opportunity and not the time, well, that just makes me want to tear my hair out. Add to that the fact that I love Hawaii, yes, like that, yes, like I do want to marry the whole state. Argh.

I am going to have to go back to write my own book. Now that we’re done with Austria for a while, is there a reason Hawaii couldn’t be our second home? I’m thinking a three month stint might slake my thirst for island life.

Linky thanks to fellow travel/writer blogs

  • Sheila, for the blogtipping
  • Liz, for the upcoming interview

[tags]travel writing, Hawaii[/tags]

2 thoughts on “Aloha Oy: Tropical Frustration”

  1. “Yeah, but you’ll be in Hawaii!” That’s like when people would hear about the frustrations of island life and not feel the compulsion to join me in whining. 😉 I hear you on the time constraints…I have no delusions that it will resemble a vacation for you.

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