“Miss, let me give you a map. Miss, let me invite you to an event. Miss, are you married?” “Yes, I’m married.” “No wedding ring! Where is your husband? You don’t want to lie and say you’re single and go to this party? It’s for single ladies!” “Now, how would your wife feel if you lied about being married, senor?”
“So, who ARE those guys in the airport? Their badges say tourism, but I don’t believe it.” “OH! THOSE GUYS! THEY ARE ALL A BUNCH OF LIARS! I HATE THOSE GUYS! AMIGA, YOU LOOK OUT FOR THOSE GUYS!” “Oh, I get it timeshare. They’re smooth!” “Oh, they are very smart, but I can’t stand them. Liars, all of them. You want a place in Mexico, you go inland a little, you build a house. It’s a better deal and you don’t get ripped off by the timeshare guys. I HATE THOSE GUYS!”
“So, where are you going?” “Chichen Itza.” “Ah ha! Chicken pizza! Very nice.” After cracking up all over the place, “My tour is late, I think.” “Mexican time!” “I’m glad YOU said that! It would have been terrible if I’d said that.” “Actually, they’re usually on time. Let me make some phone calls and check on this for you.”
Chicken Pizza!!!