The Only 2016 Hot List You’ll Need Is This One

Buckle up, kids, we’re about to be awash in lists of things that are hot for 2016 and, conversely, list of things that are out. Like kale, apparently kale is out, as is bashing millennials, and worrying about being fat. Worrying about being fat is SO LAST YEAR, friends, as is the Konmari method, hating carbs (WTF is wrong with you, carbs are awesome!), and meetings. (Meetings, sheesh.) All that is over, friends.

Hot lists are over, twice as over when random humans, who may or may not be minor celebs in their own reality TV shows, engage in suggesting items to be included on said hot lists as though they can see the future which they can NOT. Nope. No one knows what’s going to be hot in 2016 until there’s some data, therefore, my hot list is as good as any and you should treat it with the same respect you treat Oprah’s hot list, or Gwyneth’s, or Tim-freaking-Gunn’s who can tell me what to wear when he buys my clothes and not a minute before, and he still gets no say in the shoes because he’s not going to be walking in them. What I’m saying is that hot lists are totally over, except for this one, which is completely self-aware, it’s the singularity of hot lists. (The singularity is never not hot.)

Ready, here we go: The List of Things That Will Be Hot in 2016 Based Only on the Fact that I LIKE THEM.*

*which is as good a reason as any.

  1. Electric bicycles: I’ve averaged 10 miles a day on my e-bike since I got it, about 18 months ago. That’s a lot of not driving, not paying for parking, not riding the bus, not sitting in traffic. It’s an e-bike, so no, it doesn’t burn the calories a regular ride does, but it burns more than sitting in the car, I tell you what. I don’t understand why cities like Seattle — which are hard to ride in what with all our hills  — aren’t a veritable hive of e-bikes. I ride a Zuma; I freaking love it.
  2. Podcasts: Yeah, they were hot last year, and they’re going to be hotter still this year. (Coin check!) I bet we’re going to see a lot more folks try to make podcasts — it’s the new blogging! — and some of them are going to be as magical as Roman Mars’ Radiotopia empire and some of them are going to be nothing but noise. (I’m still a little bummed that Roman hasn’t contacted me about running his empire’s social media, but since he has no idea I want to do that, that might explain the silence.) No matter, there’s a feast of delicious audio out there and it’s just getting better and better.
  3.  Vienna: When I started going to Vienna it was, well, stodgy comes to mind. Don’t get me wrong, it had much to recommend it, but it felt trapped in weird sort of mid-80s stasis. That’s changing and Vienna is becoming pretty freaking cool. Sure, it means there are hipsters paying too much for sneakers, but it also means there’s a new generation looking up from their post-war xenophobia and finding ways to drag the city into the present. Look at this ridiculously hip hotel for under 100 euros a night. I’m not so crazy about the “American style” restaurants that are going in, but anything that brings the under 30s to Vienna city life is going to make the city better. Plus, I’m there at least once a year and I’d love to meet you for cake.
  4. Ukuleles: Still flaming hot, still in ascendancy. It’s not expensive and you can teach yourself to play in a weekend and the world is full of people who want you to drop in and play some ukulele with them. I’m not joking, look at this map and go make some new friends. Not sure how to start? I have a guide for that.
  5. Rescue pets:  Damn, were all these billboards for shelter pets always all over my city or is this a new thing? Let’s go with “It’s a new thing” and therefore an indicator of my trendsetting status in adopting future Instagram star Harley the Dog. Pets are better for you than antidepressants and just about any kind of critter you desire is out there in the world needing a new home. Gene the Iguana needs a home, shouldn’t he have one where he feels safe and loved? What? Don’t want an iguana? How about Duncan the Goat? Or Gary the Chinchilla? Is your heart made of stone? Hearts of stone are out.
  6. Ridiculous Lists: Totally in. Any list that takes itself too seriously, show it the way back to 2015. Which, by the way, is over.

Image: Fire Angel via Superpower Wiki. (Superpowers are in.)

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3 thoughts on “The Only 2016 Hot List You’ll Need Is This One

  1. This was a hilarious and awesome post! Haha, I really hope the “carbs make you fat” fad is over because who are they kidding??? I love carbs! They’re delicious and humans will die without carbs (like, for real).

  2. #5 for sure! Rescuing a dog will never go out of style. I adopted a deaf English Setter this past year. He is loving and oh so mischievous. I love all the “famous” animals on the internet now. They are saving lots of lives by promoting pet adoption!

  3. Great post! yes, the electric bike is definitely cool and i hope more people start using it in 2016.
    i hope you will add to your list as the year goes by.

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